Just You and Me
by AdventKisa-x
Summary: Magnus discovers that his promiscuous lifestyle has led to him becoming HIV positive, while Alec is suffering quietly through an abusive relationship. Can they come together or will Magnus' diagnosis keep him from committing to Alec? Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: hey guys! Here's the prologue for my new non Shadowhunter Alec/Magnus story. In this story Magnus discovers that his promiscuous lifestyle has led to him becoming HIV positive, while Alec is suffering quietly through an abusive relationship. Can they come together or will Magnus' diagnosis keep him from committing to Alec? Will Alec be able to break free of the abuse? This story is rated M and will contain an abusive relationship, strong language, suicidal thoughts and actions, and rape/sexual assault scenes.**

 **I did age the characters up a little bit though (or aged Alec up and Magnus way down). Magnus is 28 and Alec is 23. I listened to Demons by Imagine Dragons while I wrote this. I hope you all enjoy and reviews make my day.**

 **Magnus POV:**

 _Tick tick tick._ The clock on the wall annoyingly keeps ticking above me. Every second makes me more nervous. What is taking him so long?

The needle puncture hole on my arm is itching and I grip the table to keep myself from scratching it. I've been feeling so weird lately. I've been tired, feverish, and I've felt pain damn near everywhere. I need to get some meds and I'll be partying by tonight, I'm sure.

My phone dings and I pull it out. It's a text from Camille.

 **Where u at?**

My fingers fly across the screen, keeping an eye on the door. I'm really not supposed to have my phone on in here.

 **At doctors. Will be home soon.**

Her reply is swift.

 **We going to a club tonight or staying home?**

My lips immediately curl up into a smile. That's pretty much all we do when we're not working. We either go dancing and find some people for a quick fuck later or stay in and pretty much... well, sleep with each other. Camille may be my ex, but damn is she good in my bed. And on the floor. And on the couch. And there was that one time on the dining room table... I still have trouble eating at the table now.

My fingertips tap against my knee slowly. It's been awhile since Camille and I spent a night caught up in each other. She usually prefers to go out, and while I definitely enjoy other men and women pleasuring me, there's nothing better than sliding home into her burning hot body.

I grip my knee and close my eyes as my cock hardens just at the thought of spending the night with Camille. Yep, that answers my question. We can go out tomorrow, tonight I'm spending with her.

I type back my response quickly and put my phone back in my pocket. I really wish Camille and I were compatible in a relationship but we're just not. I wanted a monogamous relationship and she couldn't handle that. So even though it hurt to leave her I did. And now we just have meaningless sex, which is surprisingly fine with me.

I get another text just as the door opens. Finally! I can get out of here. "What's wrong with me doc? I don't have the flu, do I?"

The doctor sits down on a stool and slides over to me. His face is still buried in my file and I can't help but start to get a little bit concerned. He would have just said 'oh, it's just a cold' or 'Mr. Bane, you have the flu' if it wasn't something bad.

He finally looks up at me and his green eyes meet mine. They're sad and I grip the table tightly. I'm not dying, am I?

He clears his throat, "Mr. Bane, I've triple checked your blood results. Your family has been coming here for years and I wanted to do the tests thoroughly. Magnus, I-"

He cuts off and looks back down at the test results. My lips quiver slightly but I firm them. I can handle this, and I will recover. "Doc, just tell me."

He finally looks back up at me and all I can hear coming out of his lips are the words 'HIV positive'. I can see him, I can hear him listing statistics and medications and that they caught it early so that's just great. But I ignore him, and stare down at my fingers, still clutching the table. Holding on to something is all I can do.

The doctor keeps rattling on and my phone beeps again. He finally stops talking and he rests a hand on my shoulder. "Do you want a few moments alone before we start talking about what we need to do?"

My head jerks up and down and his hand squeezes my shoulder before he walks out of the room. I pull my phone out of my pocket and I turn the screen on. There's a picture message from Camille and I know that I shouldn't open it, but I do. She's sent me a picture of her in only her bra and panties. I run my fingers over her face on the screen before deleting the picture.

I'm going to be alone. I'm going to be alone, forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: hey guys! Here's the next chapter of Just You and Me. I'm glad that you all like it so far. HIV and AIDS are horrible diseases and it's a very hard topic for people to talk about. But I've had the idea for this story for a while now and I finally got up the courage to start writing it. Anyways, thank you all for the reviews, they really made my day. This chapter will contain strong language, physical abuse and a rape scene so please be warned. Here you go.**

 **I listened to 9 crimes by Damien Rice while writing this chapter.**

 **Alec POV:**

My fingers grip my paintbrush tightly as I stare at the portrait in front of me. There's blue smears on my hands, and I'm sure when I look in the mirror there will be some on my face to. My head cocks as I look at the picture. There's something missing.

My phone rings and I sigh, I don't have time for this, I need to finish the painting today. I let the call go to voicemail and I pick up a new paintbrush. It glides against the portrait in short, even strokes. When I pull away I can finally see that it's done. My lips tilt up and I laugh. I'll be able to give it to my client early.

The phone rings again and I pick it up. My heart beats faster when I see that it's Jonathan. Oh God, I hope it wasn't him earlier, he'll be so mad. My hands shake as I answer it, "hey Jonathan."

He doesn't say anything right away but I can hear his breath. I can't tell if he's angry or not. "Hey babe. Were you painting again?"

My cheeks turn pink and I stutter, "I-I was. I'm sorry, I really needed to finish it. I didn't check my phone when you called, if I knew that it was you I would have answered." The excuses fall out of my mouth faster than I can try to pull them back. Please don't be angry with me... please, I still haven't recovered after the last time.

He's still quiet and I try to work out his mood. He finally laughs loudly, "stop apologizing. I have some good news, and I'm bringing home dinner. So wash off all the paint and wear something nice. Maybe that blue shirt that I love so much, it brings out your eyes. I love you baby."

I clear my throat, "I love you too, Jonathan. I'll get ready."

He hangs up and I hang my head, relieved. It sounds like tonight will be a good night. I put away my paint supplies and hurry through my studio to the bathroom. The second I see myself in the mirror I start laughing. I don't know how I did it but there's paint on my forehead, cheeks, and even in my hair.

This isn't going to be a quick little wash up, I need to take a shower. I quickly gather the clothes that Jonathan wants me to wear and jump in the shower. My fingers scrub at my skin, trying to get the paint off. My head tilts back and I enjoy the water that hits my face. Tonight will be a good night.

I turn and when the water touches my back I nearly double over. Two days ago Jonathan beat me more roughly then he ever has. He came home and saw me talking to one of our neighbors. The other guy was older than me and good looking but I didn't give it a second thought. I just enjoyed talking to someone other than Jonathan.

I turn back quickly and try not to look down at my chest. I know that there are bruises all over my skin. The only place he never hits me is my face. Then everyone would know, but they can't know, it has to be a secret.

My eyes drift shut. I met Jonathan in art school, and it wasn't long before I was falling in love with him. He was charming and older than me, so charismatic. The first time he kissed me, the first time he told me he loved me, I'd never felt so amazing. He wanted to be an art professor and now he is. It broke my heart when it was time for him to graduate, I thought he wouldn't want to be with me anymore but he did.

He bought our studio apartment and here we are. We've been together for nearly four years. It wasn't until last year that he seemed to change. He stayed out late, he'd get angry at me over the smallest things. And now... now he hits me. And other things.

The bathroom door opens and I tense up. "I'll be done in a minute. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I can hear him moving around. "I'll join you."

My eyes widen as he steps into the shower behind me and wraps his arms around me. His chest is hard against my back and his fingers slide up and down my arms. My throat tightens, he hurt me to much the other day, he actually made me bleed down there. I'm not ready for it yet. "Babe..."

His lips are latched onto my neck and he pulls off slightly, "yeah?"

My lips quiver, "I don't think we should... I'm still sore."

A bottle opens and right after I can feel his fingers at my entrance. "I'll be gentle, I need you."

Tears start to slide down my cheeks as he pushes his fingers inside of me. "Please, I don't want to. Please, no!"

His other hand grips my hair and yanks it back, the pain forcing a cry out of me. "Don't you dare tell me no, who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

He pushes himself inside of me roughly and I scream as he immediately starts pounding in and out of me. My fingers try to get traction against the wall and I hold myself up against the wall as he forces himself in and out of me faster.

Jonathan's fingers dig deep into my hips and his thrusts start to get erratic. I can hear my gasps and cries and his grunts of pleasure. Finally he thrusts inside of me one more time and I can feel the gush of cum splashing against my insides. He pulls out of me and my knees stop holding me up, and I fall to the floor of the shower. I look down and see blood running down the drain.

He gets out of the shower, "clean yourself up, I still want to tell you my good news."

I listen to him walk out of the bathroom and I start crying harder, my tears mixing with the water and my blood. I don't know how much more of this I can take.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: hey guys! Thank you all for the amazing reviews, they are really appreciated. In this chapter Magnus and Alec are meeting for the first time, and it's six months after what happened in chapters one and two. There are no warnings for this chapter other than a little bit of cuteness between these two, sexual thoughts, and some sadness on Magnus' part. I hope you all enjoy and reviews make my day.**

 **I listened to See You Again by Carrie Underwood while writing this chapter.**

 **Magnus POV:**

Camille's fingernails tap against the steering wheel impatiently. Driving through snow in the city isn't fun typically but most of the people in the city aren't used to snow this bad and there's a crash ahead of us. She lets out an aggravated sigh and I have to force back a chuckle. She's so impatient. I understand, I was to.

I rest my head against the window and close my eyes. I should be happy, I'm healthy right now. All of my test results are okay and I'm... okay. The doctor says that it could take years for me to succumb to the illness. Or it could happen sooner than that, all I know is that I'm not going to have the life that I wanted.

There's a throbbing in my head and I squeeze the bridge of my nose. I can't keep holding onto this. I can't change my condition no matter how much I wish I could.

Suddenly there's a slight fruity smell in front of my face and I know I shouldn't open my eyes but I do. Camille's hand is in front of me and she's pointing out of the window. It takes everything to look out of the window instead of leaning into her wrist and taking a deep breath. She's pointing at a side road that will take us to where she wants to go, even though it's out of the way.

"I'm taking that road. It'll be a longer trip, but no where near as long as this will take."

I nod, I don't care. I have nothing but time now. She lowers her hand and I let out a small breath. Thank God.

My eyes drift shut again and I go back to that day, six months ago. I had to tell her, the second I got home, I knew that I had to tell her. But when I got home I lost my focus. She'd set up candles and roses and made the setting very romantic. We weren't used to doing things like this for each other. We slept together, sure, even went on dates occasionally when we were both lonely. But romance in our home? No, we didn't do that. Mostly because we both knew that we are incompatible in a romantic relationship.

I'm never going to forget walking down the hallway to my bedroom. The door was open and I could see candlelight flickering against the walls. She really pulled out all the stops. But nothing will ever be an impact as much as when I stepped into my room. I nearly swallowed my own tongue when I stepped into the room. She was laying back against my velvet colored comforter. Her thick, strawberry blonde curls spread out over my pillows.

I told myself not to but I brought my eyes down her body. She was wearing black, lacy lingerie, my favorite of hers. She had spread her legs, wanting me to slide in between them. And the sick, twisted thing is that I wanted nothing more in that moment than to do it. But I couldn't, I had to tell her. But instead of telling her the truth, I ran. I ran like a coward. I stayed at my father's condo for a few days before I finally got the courage up to tell her the truth. She did what I wasn't able to do. She cried for me.

The car comes to a stop and my eyes open. We're sitting in front of the small craft store she wanted to come to today. And she forced me out of the house with her, honestly I've only been leaving to go to work.

Camille opens her door and walks around the car to open mine. Even though I should feel humiliated, I don't. She feels sorry for me, she wants to help me. And most importantly, she knows that I loved her once, I might even still. And she doesn't want to be the person who drops a friend just for being sick.

I step out of the car and let her slide an arm through mine. She marches us into the store and a bell rings above our heads. I let out a small sigh. It's so warm in here. Even with my thick coat on it still barely did anything against the cold outside. I pull my arm away from Camille and take off my coat. When she notices me drape it across my arm her eyes sparkle a little, "do you want me to hold your coat for you?"

Irritation bubbles up, "I'm not an invalid. I can hold my own coat."

I regret it instantly as soon as she lowers her head, "I know, I just... want to help. I'm going to go get what I need."

Before I can stop her she darts down an aisle and I sigh. I shouldn't have done that. I walk down the aisle of paints and I see one of the employees sitting on the ground, holding up two different colors. His head is tilted down and all I can see is his black hair. I turn away, not wanting to disturb him.

"Can I help you sir?"

I turn back around and open my mouth to reply but I stop when I see him. He's on his knees and looking up at me. My cock hardens in my pants and I try to will it down. His hair is short in the back but he obviously doesn't take care of his bangs. Maybe because they're hiding the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen. I watch him rise and I'm pleased to see he's not that much shorter than me. I stand at 6'3", and he's only about six foot. He's the perfect height to pull against my chest, his head cradled against my neck. He looks like he's younger than me too...

His head cocks to the side and his pink lips open slightly. And all of the blood in my body rushes to my nether regions. Fuck, I can't be thinking these things. I'm sick, infected. Even safe sex wouldn't be safe enough for this angel. And besides, he probably has a girlfriend. Though my gaydar has been going wild since our eyes met.

"Sir?" His tongue touches his lips and I shift slightly.

Putting it to the test is no harm. "No darling. I'm alright." My lips immediately form a smirk and I wink at him deliberately.

His cheeks instantly turn pink and he stammers a few times before closing his mouth. While all my blood is rushing downwards his seems to be rushing up to his cheeks. Yes, I think I was right. He probably doesn't have a girlfriend, it's probably a man waiting for him at home.

I look at his name tag and see that his name is Alexander. I hold up a hand for him to shake, "it's nice to meet you, Alexander."

His cheeks get darker and he slides his hand into mine. "It-it's just Alec."

His hand is soft and I drag my fingers against his palm as I pull away. He immediately puts his hand in his pocket. His eyes drift over my face and I try not to smirk. He's checking me out. "I'm Magnus."

Alec's mouth opens but all of a sudden someone walks up to us and I'm disappointed that it's Camille. She shakes her bag and slips an arm through mine. I watch Alec's eyes lower and I think I hear him mutter a light "oh". Oh fuck he thinks I'm with her. Well...

It's for the best. Better that he thinks I'm some asshole flirting with him when my girlfriend's away then to know that I'm what I really am. While flirting for the first time in months feels good, it can't lead to anything. The old me would have had this young man in my bed tonight...

My throat clears and he looks up at me, I meet his eyes, "have a good day, Alec."

He nods, "have a good day Magnus, and you too ma'am."

Camille pulls me away from him and waits while I pull on my coat at the door. In the corner of my eye I watch Alec turn and limp down the aisle towards the back of the store. He's limping, is he okay?

Camille tugs on my arm and we walk outside into the horrible cold. I know I shouldn't, but I really want to see that blue eyed boy again.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: hey guys! Here is the new chapter. There won't be a Malec meet up this chapter but Alec will sure be thinking of him a lot. This chapter is more insight into Alec's mind when it comes to Jonathan and there is a scene with sexual content between Jonathan and Alec, but don't worry, this is a Malec story in the end. Anyways, thank you everyone for all the reviews, I very much appreciate them and they make me very happy.**

 **I listened to Radioactive by Imagine Dragons while writing this chapter.**

 **Alec POV:**

My front door opens slowly and I shut it behind me. The apartment is quiet and cock my head, Jonathan is usually home by now. A quick survey of the apartment let's me know that he isn't here. I can't help the small sigh of relief. I'm not ready to see him today. I won't know what his mood is until he decides to do something or not.

The bed is calling my name and I lay down on it. The memory foam is soft and I sigh deeply, this is what I need after today. That man at the store... Magnus, he really tied up my emotions earlier. Everything about him attracted me. He looks a little bit older than me and, other than my adopted brother Jace, I've always been attracted to older men. He's also a bit taller than me, I spent half the time with him wondering what it would be like to tilt my head up and... no, I can't.

I sigh again and cross an arm over my eyes. The worst part? I enjoyed his fingers grazing my skin. I enjoyed the smirks and wink he gave me. It's been so long since Jonathan and I had any kind of real intimacy, not that he doesn't try. He constantly tries to do cute things after he hurts me. But that's the point, it never works because I'm constantly afraid that I'll just make him mad again. So I never accept his intimacy, I just let him do whatever he wants with a grim smile on my face.

But that man... Magnus. I loved the feel of his eyes on me. Those gorgeous green eyes, with a ring of gold in the iris. He had spiked black hair and there was glitter in it. That part was weird, but I can't say anything. I constantly have paint in my hair.

My hand slides through my hair and I laugh softly. There's paint in there. I hope that Magnus didn't notice.

Wait, what am I thinking? I'm never going to see him again. And besides, even if I did, nothing could ever happen. Jonathan would make sure of that. He'd hurt Magnus. He'd hurt me. But more than anything else, I think he'd hurt my family.

And... he would hurt himself. He's threatened that before. Once when I was stupid enough to tell him that I was leaving him he said if I left he would kill himself. While I don't love him anymore, I am afraid of him, I don't want him to hurt himself. And if it keeps my family safe, I'm willing to be hurt.

My hand tingles where Magnus touched me and I drag it against my thigh. Why am I feeling this way? I'm never going to see him again, or probably won't. And besides, he has a girlfriend. I still can't help the disappointment I feel when I think of that. Maybe that's another reason to just forget about that guy.

What kind of person flirts with some other guy when his girlfriend is away? Not a good one, yes, that's what I'll keep telling myself. My eyes shut. Yes, I'll just forget about him.

The bedroom door opens and my eyes fly open, my arm falls from my face. Jonathan is standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, his eyes on me. He lifts his eyes to meet mine and I force myself to smile. He doesn't say anything, just stares at me.

I clear my throat, "how was work?"

He just nods and sits next to me on the bed. My body immediately tightens up, I don't want him to touch me today. He's been more rough than usual lately and I've got a small limp right now. I thought I was able to cover it up pretty well at work but if he hurts me any more I might not be able to hide the damage.

Jonathan's hand rises and he places it on my stomach, his eyes are shadowed and I have no idea what he's thinking. I sit up and feel his hand fall into my lap. His eyes shut and stay closed for a few moments before opening again.

My lips quiver slightly, "wh-what's going on?" I firm my lips. I didn't do anything!

His hand slides down to my knee and he squeezes it, "I'm sorry."

I nearly choke and my eyes widen, "what?"

He sighs and squeezes my knee again, "I'm sorry. For everything."

His eyes meet mine and I think I can see sorrow in them, "what are you sorry for?" I've heard him say sorry before, but he's never looked this sad while doing it.

Jonathan smiles and traces my knee with his thumb. A couple days ago he'd kicked my knee and I thought he had broken my kneecap. He hadn't, it's just painful to walk. I look back up into his eyes just as he opens his mouth, "for everything. I'm taking a good, long look at myself and I don't like what I see. I've become a monster and I don't want to be that person. I don't ever want to hurt you again, and I definitely don't want to lose you. I know that if we keep on this path, I will lose you. I'm going to change, I'm so sorry babe." His voice chokes up and tears start to fall down his cheeks, "can you ever forgive me?"

While I know he's said sorry before and didn't mean it, I think he does this time. He's never cried like this, I think he's really sorry. My fingers slide up his chest to his face and I look in his eyes, "I forgive you. I want us to move on, together."

His head moves closer and our lips meet in a soft kiss. It's innocent, close mouthed. Just his lips pressed against mine. He pulls away and his fingertips frame my face, his pinky fingers just barely grazing the corner of my eyes. And even though I have my doubts about how long this will last, I want him closer to me. I want him to touch me.

Jonathan's fingers slide down to my chest and stop at the top of my button up shirt. His eyes meet mine and I feel as if he's asking me for permission. Even though my body is still in pain, I nod. He hasn't asked in so long, ever since he started hurting me he's always just taken.

But this time, his fingers open the buttons slowly, one at a time, while his lips press against my neck. They slide over my pulse point and I let out a soft moan. The buttons are finally undone and he pulls my shirt down my arms and throws it on the floor. His hands push me back against the pillow and my legs open automatically, when I do my knee pops and I gasp in pain.

His eyes shut as if in pain himself and he moves down my body to my knee. Even through my jeans I can feel the tender kisses he presses against the kneecap. His fingers slide against my leg, trying to massage me. The pain eases slightly and I can feel my blood rushing to my groin, my hands instantly cover it.

Jonathan's eyes glance down at my hands and he pushes them away. His mouth opens and suddenly he pushes his face onto my groin, his mouth open and even though I have jeans on I can feel the heat from his mouth. The whine that comes out of my mouth is loud and my hips thrust up against his face.

His hands are unbuttoning my pants and his fingers are pulling my cock out in seconds. His lips wrap around my cock and I close my eyes, my body lifting up and down in time with his head moving on me.

My legs spread as far as they can in my pants and my fingers grip his hair, holding him down. He moans and the vibrations have me pushing up harder into his mouth, my moans reverberating around the room. I can feel myself being pushed to the edge and his fingers wrap around my balls, stroking them hard.

My hips lift one more time and I cum hard, down his throat. He lifts off of me and his eyes meet mine. He's turned on. As he settles himself over me, sliding his clothes off, all I can hope is that he really has changed. That this really is the start of something good again.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey guys! I'm sorry for such a late post, November is such a busy month for me. My birthday was at the beginning of the month and we're almost to Thanksgiving! I hope all of you had a great Halloween and will have an amazing Thanksgiving as well to all of you in the States. I'm going to try to get out two chapters next Sunday and Monday to try and make up for my inactivity this month. Thank you for all the lovely reviews as always, thanks for all of the readers as well. You all make my days on here. Here is the newest chapter of Just You and Me. I know in this story Camille is kind of OOC, I think she should kind of be seen in a different light, but there will be a lot of drama concerning her soon.**

 **This chapter is also a look into her relationship with Magnus, and how complicated it is. Magnus has always been in lust with Camille, and has many times considered himself in love with her. Right now he thinks he is still in love with her despite his heavy attraction to Alec, but we will have a Malec meeting this chapter, though it is short. Here you guys go! Please read, enjoy, and review!**

 **I listened to Paralyzed by NF while writing this song.**

 **Magnus POV:**

My fingers slide over my keyboard and I try to ignore Camille puttering around in her bedroom next to mine. I can practically here her pulling her clothes on her body and I have to force myself to look at the document in front of me. For the last few days I've been sick thanks to my disease and have had to stay home to work. Usually I'd be dying to get out of the house, especially to get away from Camille.

She really knows me best, she's tried to be a rock for me ever since I told her about what was wrong with me. But I don't want her to feel obligated. I don't want her to only stay here, to keep living with me just because she feels like she has to. And I know that's what she's feeling right now she just won't admit it. She won't admit it to me, or to herself.

We've been best friends for so long, ever since elementary. Camille ran up to me the first day of kindergarten with her blonde curls pulled into cute little pigtails and demanded that I be her friend. It was a time where I was actually shy, and was too afraid to talk to anyone. She helped me through figuring out I was bisexual in middle school, and helped me pick out glitter one day to put in my hair. She stood at my side the first day I was brave enough to really be myself, with rainbow colored pants and glitter in my hair. I felt so good, so happy, and she was at my side. She was my first friend, and now probably my only friend.

I've pushed everyone else out of my life except for my boss, who is unfortunately my father, and Camille. Everything else, everyone else, is just white noise to me. I've spent the last couple of months at home or at work. Dad has tried to get me to go out with him but our relationship is not very good. Not ever since mom…

Camille knocks twice on her bedroom wall and my eyes shut for a few seconds. I can't think about mom, not now. I sit there for a few minutes in silence before Camille knocks on the wall again. My lips tilt up into a smile, she's so stubborn. If I don't go to her room she will bust down my door, I swear she will.

I save the document and send it to my father. I've been sending him some of my clothing designs for a while now, hoping that he'd use them. He's the CEO of a large fashion company that primarily designs suits and dresses special occasions. I'd love to be a designer for his company but he wants me to be CEO one day after him, so I need to learn the business side of things instead of the fashion side, joy.

My door opens and I look up. Camille has a peeved look on her face and I have to stifle a laugh. There she is, my beautiful, amazing, fantastic roommate. I love it.

When she sees my smile she can't help but to smile back, her red lips part slowly. "How do I look?"

To be honest, she always looks amazing. But right now it's more than usual. Her long curls are pulled back into a ponytail with a long braid wrapped around the base of the ponytail. She has an adorable pink, red and black plaid dress on that falls to her knees. It's my favorite dress of hers. Her head cocks and I realize I've been staring to long.

"You look great, dear." I quickly open my laptop again and pray for it to start quickly. I can't do this right now, I think it's time to tell her that I should move out.

I can hear Camille sit down on my bed and I try to ignore her. Her toes tap against my floor gently and I close my laptop again. When I turn towards her, her head is down and I sigh softly. Her head jerks up and we look at each other without speaking. I don't know what to say to her, I can't tell her that I still love her, and I definitely can't tell her that if I hadn't been sick despite our horrid relationship choices in the past, I'd want to spend my life with her. She deserves better than me. She deserves better than this.

"Camille…"

She raises her hand, silencing me. "Magnus Bane. I am not moving out of this apartment and neither are you. We've been best friends almost our whole lives and we will be for the rest of our lives. I know you're going to ask me to move or tell me you're moving, and you better not. If you move I will hunt you down and live outside of your new place on your front lawn if I have to. Do not test me."

My eyebrow raises, "Don't expect me to let you use my new bathroom then."

Her eyebrow rises in a mirror way of mine, "I know how to pick a lock, I will get into your new home, don't test me."

I nod slowly. Well, that went well. It was worth a try, it really didn't work but it was worth a try. "So where are you going?"

Camille laughs bitterly. "My mom is demanding that I come over tonight for dinner. She wants to introduce me to her new boyfriend, do you want to go?"

I shake my head, I don't really get along with Camille's mother very well. She's very conservative and doesn't approve of the way I dress. Or my bisexuality, or anything about me at all. I wonder what she would say if she knew I deflowered her precious little angel…

Camille smirks, "I know where you're going and don't. Don't go there."

I give her my best innocent look. "Don't go where, angel?"

She laughs again, "You know where. Well if you're not going to this very painful dinner can you do something for me while I'm gone?"

This isn't good. Maybe I should just go to see her mom's new beau instead. "What do you need?"

"I need some new sketch paper. Can you go to that craft store we went to a couple weeks ago and get me some more? I'd really love to get in some new designs."

I almost refuse. I'd definitely prefer to spend time with her than go to a store. But that boy might be there. That black haired boy. "Okay."

Her eyes light up, "Thank you, babe. Do you mind walking me out to my car?"

I shake my head and put my coat on. Even though we live in a good neighborhood, it's still New York City. Not the safest place in the world even here. I walk her outside and hold her car door open for her. She waves as she drives away and I let out a sigh. It's so hard being around her. It's getting so much harder. Part of me wants to let go of everything and just take what I want, what she so obviously wants.

But I can't, I'm sick. If I ever got her sick, I could never forgive myself. I'd rather die than hurt her like that. So if I have to hurt her this way instead, I can live with that.

The trip down to the craft store is slow but I enjoy it. I love city life, it's the best thing in the world. I even love waking up to sirens at four in the morning, it just means people are alive and they are constantly moving. There's always something going on here.

When I get to the store I slowly walk inside. The air is warm and I find myself pulling off my coat like I did last time. I look around, hoping to find the black haired boy, Alexander, but I can't. The cashier rings from the back of the store and I quickly head down the aisles until I find the one for sketch pads. Camille just bought two new ones last week, she needs to slow it down.

So I don't have to come back here I pick up five of her favorite brand, and even get her some new pencils. She'll love me for this.

I try to get that thought out of my head as I walk down to the end of the aisle. There's a desk at the back of the store for the cashier. Strange layout.

But when I get to the end of the aisle I stop. The beautiful boy is leaning against the counter, his fingers tapping on the surface. His blue eyes glance up and he straightens immediately, I try not to laugh at him but my lips do smirk at him as if on their own accord. I try to will them to stop as he blushes a bright pink that goes down his neck. It's a totally cliché line, but I wonder how far that blush goes down…

I plop my items on the counter and he stutters out a hello. I just nod, watching him check out the sketch pads. His eyebrows raise as he scans the fifth one. "I guess you really like to draw huh?"

I'm surprised he's spoken a complete sentence without stuttering or blushing, progress! "It's not for me, it's for Camille."

Alexander's eyes instantly leave mine and go back down to scanning the pencils. I know I shouldn't, I really do, but "She's not my girlfriend."

His head jerks up and he gives me these beautiful, wide, deer in the headlights kind of look.  
"I-I thought…"

Oh this is so good. "I'm single. Completely, one hundred percent, single. What about you Alexander?"

He bags the items and I give him my credit card. As he scans it he blushes again. "Please, just call me Alec."

I notice he doesn't answer my question. He hands me back my card and I find myself disappointed. Why am I? I know that there can't ever be anything between us. There just can't.

I watch him tear off my receipt and I take it from him, but when our fingers meet I look down into his eyes. He's got to be the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life.

Alec runs a finger against his cheek and then looks at his fingers. When he looks back up at me his eyes are wide. "Please tell me that I don't have paint in my hair again."

How does he have no idea that he's just gorgeous? My eyes move up to his hair and, oh shit. There is green paint in it. How on earth did he get paint into his hair? Does he paint himself? Some people do that. When I was here last time I did see him admiring the paints they sell.

Alec notices me looking and he rubs the top of his head, only getting a little bit of it. I laugh softly, "it's okay. I didn't notice it until just now. I don't think anyone else will notice."

He stops touching his hair and hands me my bag. When our fingers touch again I try not to laugh at the paint stains that are now on his skin. We stand there and look at each other for a few moments. There's no one behind me so I don't have to move. He starts fidgeting again and glancing around. I shouldn't do this but…

"Do you like coffee? Let's go get some tomorrow." Fuck, I'm a glutton for punishment. I'm going to hell.

Alec stops fidgeting and his eyes get wider. "I have a boyfriend, I can't."

I knew it! I knew someone this good looking could only be taken. His boyfriend is only lucky duck. But I don't want a relationship, so friends is okay right?

"That's okay. Let's just go and get to know each other. I'd really like to be friends, let's just get to know one another a bit." I try not to look to hopeful. I hope he doesn't turn this down, I think I really need to talk to someone who doesn't know.

His eyes glance down before back up to me. "Okay."

I almost drop the bag I'm holding. Yes! I didn't think he'd be so open to it. "How about you meet me at Clare's tomorrow at noon?"

Alec's head nods shyly and I can feel someone approaching me from behind. "Yeah, I don't have to be at work until later so I'll be there. Ha-have a good day, Magnus."

Even though I'm surprised he remembered my name I move away for the other customer, "You too, Alexander."

His cheeks turn an even brighter pink as he checks out the next customer. I'm in trouble, some deep, deep trouble.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys! Here is the next chapter for Just You and Me. I'm going to try to have two or three more chapters out before the end of the year, but just in case I don't, happy Christmas everyone. This chapter will contain a lot of Alec's thoughts on Magnus plus a cute sort of date, strong language and severe physical abuse towards the end. Please enjoy this chapter and reviews make my day.**

 **I listened to Unsteady by the X Ambassadors while listening to this chapter.**

 **Alec POV:**

My fingers grip my coffee cup far too tightly. My fingertips are slowly turning an even paler color than they usually are. I already know that I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be here. If Jonathan finds out, I'll be in trouble. Doing this is like dangling a piece of meat in front of a tiger, not good.

But we've been doing so well lately, maybe he won't mind. Maybe he'll be okay with me having a new friend. Even if that new friend is probably the hottest man in the world.

The bell dings above the door and I look up excitedly. It's a couple and I can't help the sigh I give. Not him. Pull it back Alec. He just wants to be my friend, I just want to be his friend. But fuck, if I'm being honest, I want to be more than his friend. Who in the world would want to just be his friend? I haven't thought about anything but him since he asked me out on this… date? A date as friends? I don't know if this is a good idea.

No, I know it's not. But I'm going to do this. I need a friend and if that friend has to be someone I'm really attracted to I'm still going to do it.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket, it's Jonathan. My fingers begin to shake as I hit the talk button, even though I know we're in a better place.

"Hey!" My eyes close briefly. No way he can't figure out something's up.

He's silent for a moment and I pray he's not angry. "Hey babe. I'm getting off work early, would you like me to cook tonight?"

The bell above the door dings again and I glance up, it's Magnus. He waves and points at the counter and I nod, smiling. He looks… great.

"Alec?"

Oh shit. "Yeah I'm here. I'd love to have dinner tonight, you've been working a lot of hours the last couple of weeks."

He sighs softly, "I'm sorry, Alec. We're having exams and I've needed to stay later than usual. But our last exam days are tomorrow so I'll be home more. What do you want tonight?"

He's trying so hard to be nicer and not act like he used too… it's such a nice change, I just hope he doesn't change back. "Anything you'd like."

Magnus comes back to my table and sets his cup down before taking off his scarf and coat. He notices me watching him and he smiles as he sits down.

"Alexander." Jonathan sounds annoyed, and I gulp softly.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did you say?"

Magnus sniggers and I try to give him my best glare, which seems to only make him snigger harder.

"I said where are you?"

"I'm just getting coffee." With someone else. "I'll be home soon." Why am I feeling so guilty about this? He's only a new friend.

"What coffee shop? I'll join you."

My eyes glance up at Magnus and he's doing his best to try not to listen in but I can tell he's curious. He keeps glancing at me. "No it's fine, I'll see you at home soon." Before he can answer I hang up, I know before I would have paid dearly for that mistake, but he's changed right? He won't do anything now.

Magnus picks up his cup and takes a drink, "was that the boyfriend?"

I know without even being able to see that my cheeks have turned pink, "ye-yeah. That was my boyfriend."

He runs his fingertips against the lip of his cup and glances up at me, "what's his name, may I ask?"

No, I don't want to talk about him right now. But… "his name is Jonathan."

He nods and I have no idea what to say now. I didn't come here to talk about Jonathan, I was kind of hoping I'd get to know who Magnus is. But I usually don't tend to know what to say at the best of times and he doesn't seem the type that just tells a stranger whatever they want to know, at least I hope he's not. That'd be bad, super bad.

His lips start to form a smile and I frown slightly, do I have something on my face? "I asked you a question, Alec."

My face heats up and I know it's probably bright red about now. His eyes lower to my neck where I know my blush has fallen to. "I didn't hear you."

"No you didn't, you were too busy staring at me." His lips curl up into a full smile and if I could possibly blush harder, I would. Maybe I should just crawl under the table until he leaves. Better yet, I should just crawl under the table and die there in shame and humiliation. Yeah, that would work.

"I'm sorry, you're just uh…" What's a good thing to say?

Magnus picks up his drink and smirks at me, "I'm very hot and amazing, I know."

You do? Oh boy. "What was your question?"

For some reason he doesn't look to happy to be going back to his question. "I said how'd you two meet?" Oh.

"We met at art school actually. He's older than me by a couple years and he's an art professor now. I'm just a run of the mill art guy. Painting, you know, that kind of stuff." Shut up Alec!

Magnus nods, "so you're an artist and work at a craft store? Interesting. I bet you spend a lot of your money there."

My cheeks start burning up again, "yes but I-I have a discount." God, please stop stuttering and being a freak.

He smirks again and pulls his shirt sleeves up. I can't help myself and watch his tanned skin reveal itself. "Why are you acting so nervous?"

My lips open but no sound comes out so I close them. We sit in silence for a few moments and I'm kind of hoping he just gets up and walks away. The silence would be very comical if I wasn't so scared he'd actually leave. "I'm not… I don't talk to people much. At all. Unless I'm at the store. I'm not really allowed-" Fuck!

His eyebrows raise, "you're not allowed to what? Talk to people?"

I can feel my anxiety rising and my hands wave a little bit, "No I didn't mean it that way."

This time his eyes narrow, "what way do you mean?"

My lips quiver and I try to firm them. I shouldn't have come here. This was a mistake. Jonathan is better and that means I'm better, I almost gave something away. I reach down to grab my bag but he takes my hand and places it back on the table. His fingertips press against my wrist and my eyes look down at the table, trying as hard as I can not to look up at him. He squeezes my wrist and I finally glance up.

Magnus' head is tilted and he's staring at me softly. His eyes are tracing mine, as if he'll never see me again and he wants to remember it. Maybe that's what needs to happen, maybe I'm just not cut out enough to have friends. My family, yes, Jonathan, yes, but no one else. I only mean something to those people…

"I didn't mean to upset you." I can feel his thumb tracing against the pulse point on my wrist and my eyes close for a few seconds before they open again. "I want you to feel comfortable when we're together."

I swallow slowly and look up at him. "You didn't upset me, I'm just… not good with people."

He smiles and traces my wrist again before pulling away. "I'm not going to hurt you, you know?"

I nod even though I don't know how I could possibly know that. He could do anything to hurt me, but for some reason…

"Alec."

My head jerks up to see Jonathan coming over to our table. How did he know I'd be here? I came to a different coffee shop than usual!

He steps right up to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. I swallow again but this time it's harder. He holds his hand out to Magnus, "I'm Jonathan, Alec's boyfriend." He puts emphasis on boyfriend and I pray that the ground will open up and swallow me hole.

He's mad. He's so mad right now.

Magnus takes Jonathan's hand but he keeps his eyes on me, "It's nice to meet you. Alec and I were just having some coffee, getting to know one another."

Jonathan smiles but I can tell he's angry. I'm in so much trouble right now. I try to hold back tears but I can feel them at the corners of my eyes. Magnus' head tilts slowly and his eyes narrow. He can tell that I'm upset!

I get to my feet and try to give Magnus my best happy smile. "It was so nice to get to know you Magnus. I hope we can talk again."

Magnus stares at me for a moment and notices Jonathan's arm wrap around my waist like a possessive snake. "Yeah, hold on a second." He pulls out his phone and types something onto it, "give me your number and we'll meet up again soon."

Jonathan grips my hip gently but I know he's boiling with rage. I wish I could beg Magnus for help but I can't do that. There's nothing he can do to help me, I have to help myself. But I… I can't.

Magnus looks up at me and I give him my cell phone number, the correct number. I'm sure I'll be regretting this later. But I'm also pretty sure that Magnus won't text me or call or anything later. He'll probably delete my number as soon as I walk out the door. Serves me right for thinking he could be a friend.

Magnus looks back up and he smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, "it was nice to meet you Jonathan. And to see you again, Alec."

Jonathan pulls me against him and starts moving towards the door, "You too. Bye now." He doesn't give me time to say goodbye before he pulls me out the door. His car is next to mine in the parking lot and he gives me a tiny shove towards my car. "Drive home, I'll follow you. Don't stop anywhere."

I hurry to my car and start it. In my rearview mirror I can see Magnus stepping out of the shop. God I had a nice time, until Jonathan came in. I'll never forget his fingers on my skin, he made me feel special for the first time in my life.

His eyes meet mine briefly before Jonathan beeps his horn. And then… I'm gone. Magnus is behind me and I'm going forward, to my house. To hopefully a still… happy Jonathan. Yes he's mad now, but maybe the changed Jonathan, the good one.

He follows closely behind me and I drive slowly, trying to slow down the inevitable. Or maybe hoping he crashes me off the road and let that be the end of it…

But he doesn't and we finally make it back to our studio. I've never been so afraid in my life to see it. But I get out of my car and make my way up the steps. I can hear his footsteps behind me and I take a large breath as I unlock the door.

Jonathan's hand slams into my back as the door swings open and my body hits a wall inside. He quickly shuts and locks the door before turning around. When I look into his eyes it's as if the devil himself is staring back into mine. They are cold, lifeless, dead eyes.

His knee comes up and slams into my stomach and I barely make a sound as I fall to the ground. I knew it was too good to be true!

His fists and legs come down on my over and over and I curl up, trying to protect my stomach. One of my arms curl around my neck I try to aim myself so that he's hitting my side instead of anything to precious and breakable. When suddenly the punches and kicks stop.

My eyes lift up and I can see that he's breathing hard. His lips curl up into a smile and he laughs loudly. "Get up."

My breath comes out in a wheeze and I know he broke one of my ribs again, "Jonathan please, I need the hospital."

He laughs again, "I'll take you, if you can get up. Now get the fuck up!"

It takes me a few minutes but I'm finally able to stand through the pain. He moves closer and I can feel my body start to shake from the fear and from the abuse. His face is mere centimeters from mine when he whispers, "you will never see that man again, right?"

I whimper and nod, "I'll never see him again, I promise. Please stop this."

Jonathan smiles again. "Okay, I'll stop." He pulls away before slamming his fist into my head, knocking me back against the wall. I feel myself falling to the ground. And I feel myself start to fade away. My eyes see black and I feel his foot coming down and crushing my body. Over. And over. And over.

 **AN: I know I generally don't put an Authors note at the beginning and the end, but I just wanted to say that it was so painful to write this chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed the Malec time. Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: hey guys! Here is the next chapter of Just You and Me. Magnus is getting a little bit closer to discovering Alec's secret. I hope you all enjoy and reviews make my day. I'm also going to try to get the next chapter out tomorrow but if not tomorrow it will definitely be up next Sunday. Anyways, enjoy!**

 **I listened to Scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara while writing this chapter.**

 **Magnus POV:**

My phone drops from my hand onto my desk for probably the hundredth time today. I just sent another text to Alec but he hasn't responded. And every time I call his phone is off. I just want to know if he's alright, things were so tense when his boyfriend came in the coffee shop two days ago.

Jonathan... something about him made my skin crawl. He's obviously very possessive of Alec, that's for sure. To be honest, I probably would be too. Alec is definitely an amazing young man and Jonathan is very lucky to have him. But still, you shouldn't cage a beautiful bird simply because you don't want to lose something that beautiful. Alec needs to spread his wings and fly, or better yet have me as a friend.

Friend. I scoff. I have no idea what possessed me to touch his wrist like that, but when I felt his heart beating against my fingers I couldn't pull away. I couldn't pull away from that beautiful man. I was stupid to think I could just be friends with that angel. The second I saw him I knew that he was special. Even his stuttering is endearing.

My phone beeps and I grab it quickly, only to be disappointed to see that it's a text from Camille. Damn. My fingers slide across the screen to open it.

 **Hey. I'll be home in 10. We need to talk about something.**

I sigh and set my phone back down. It's happening today. She's going to tell me that she can't take it anymore. She can't live with someone as sick and diseased as me... what can I say? She's stuck by my side longer than I thought she would. Camille is a much better friend than I would be if the situation were reversed. If I wasn't sick and she was, I'd be afraid. I'd be afraid the second I found out.

My fingers trace my phone and I realize that I haven't tried Alec at his job. My eyes shut briefly. If I call him at work he's going to think I'm a creepy stalker. But I don't care, I've had a bad feeling ever since I saw him a couple days ago. To be fair, I've only had a bad feeling since I met Jonathan. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe Alec just didn't enjoy my company.

But I need to know he's okay. Before I can stop myself I search online for his work number and press call. As it rings I can feel myself start to sweat. He's going to be annoyed with me for this. I'm tempted to just hang up.

"Thanks for calling Craft-i-Nation! I'm Drew, how can I help you?"

Even before he said his name I knew it wasn't Alec, this kid is to bubbly. "Hello, I'd like to speak with one of your employees."

"Of course, who would you like me to get for you?"

"Alexander, please. He goes by Alec."

The pause is long and I'm afraid I've lost him. I pull my phone away from my ear and see that the call is still connected. "Uh... Drew?"

He swallows loudly. "I'm sorry sir. Alec isn't here and it'll be a little while before he comes back. Are you a friend of his?"

A while? Why? "Yes I am, I've come to the store a few times and met him there. He hasn't answered his phone in two days and I was starting to get worried."

Drew takes a moment to answer and I want to reach through the phone and strangle him. "Alec got into a car accident two days ago. He's in the hospital with a couple of broken ribs and some other damage."

My hand starts to shake and I have trouble keeping it pressed against my ear. Alec got hurt right after I saw him... God.

"Sir? Are you there?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, I just didn't know about the accident. Do you know what hospital he's at?"

Drew hesitates again. "I need to call my boss and ask if it's okay. Since you're Alec's friend it should be okay but let me call you back."

He hangs up and I put down my phone. I need to see him.

"Magnus?"

Oh, Camille. "In my room." Figures, Alec's hurt and I'm losing my best friend in the same day. Great.

She steps into my doorway and I can't help but admire her black dress. I'd say she looks perfect, but there's something missing. I don't know what that is.

Camille sits next to me on the bed and I wait for the inevitable. She's moving out.

"Magnus, I've been thinking."

"Just say it."

Her head tilts to the side and it reminds me of Alec's innocent face. "I think we need to change our situation right now."

"So you want to move out?" My voice is quiet and I'm trying not to be upset.

Camille's eyes narrow. "I don't want to move out. I want to stay here with you. I want to be with you, always."

My mouth opens and closes. I wasn't expecting this. "But I'm sick. I'm not going to risk hurting you."

She puts her hand on my shoulder and strokes it slowly. "I did all of the research. We can be together, we just have to be very careful and safe. There's no reason we can't do this. You know I love you and I know that you love me. We're supposed to be together. You know we were always going to end up together."

Were we? We were never compatible in the relationship department. We had mind blowing sex, I'll admit, but something was always missing.

"Magnus?"

I glance up into her eyes before looking back down, "yeah?"

"Don't we owe it to ourselves to try? I think we're both old and mature enough to make it work this time. Please Magnus." Her hand rests on mine and I don't try to push her away.

Just a few days ago I would have been dying to hear her say this. But now... I don't know if I want this. There's something else I want.

My phone rings and I grab it quickly. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Drew from Craft-i-Nation. Is this the man I spoke to a few minutes ago?"

Thank God. "Yes, this is him." I try to ignore Camille staring at me. "Were you able to get a hold of your boss?"

"Yes sir. He gave me the hospital and room number. Do you have a pen and paper?"

"Hold on." When I stand Camille's hand falls from mine and I rush to my desk. "Okay, I'm ready."

Drew gives me the name of the hospital and room number and we hang up. I grab my coat and keys.

"Wait!"

Fuck. Camille. "A friend of mine is in the hospital. We'll talk when I get home, I promise."

I don't look at her as I rush out of the room. Alec is hurt.

And I need to get to him.

He needs me. I don't know why, but I know that he needs me.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: hey everyone! Here is the next chapter of Just You and Me. Magnus and Alec get a little bit closer in this chapter and Magnus starts to wonder about Alec's questionable injuries. I hope that everyone enjoys and reviews make my day. Enjoy!**

 **I listened to War of Hearts by Ruelle while writing this chapter.**

 **Alec POV:**

 _Beep beep beep._

My eyes slowly open before I turn my head towards the couch in the hospital room. When I see that it's empty I let out a small sigh that brings pain to my chest. My fingers press against my sternum, hoping that the pressure may ease the pain somewhat.

Bandages wind around my head and my wrists. And without looking I know they wind around my torso. I try to remember all of the injuries the doctor told me about when I woke up last night.

" _Alexander, you have three broken ribs. And another bruised one. You're lucky, this time. Neither of your wrists are broken but they are both bruised. There's some internal bleeding and your brain also received injury when you hit your head."_

I'd known that before he'd told me. When Jonathan had been hitting and kicking me I had been mapping out all of the injuries. At least until he kicked me in the side of the head, I still haven't gained back hearing in my left ear. That fact should scare me but it doesn't, it's not the first time I've been hit in the head by Jonathan, nor is a little hearing loss the worst injury I've ever endured.

I reach up and tap my ear with a finger and even though I can feel it I can't hear anything. Well, perhaps I should worry a little. A sarcastic bubble of hysterical laughter nearly forces it's way out of my lips but I force it back. I don't want to give them any more reason to keep me here longer than necessary. I don't want to give my doctor any more time to beg me to go to the police.

 _"Alexander, I know you're probably going to say no. But I must implore you, beg you even, to save yourself. You know the laws. You're being domestically abused and you and only you can stop him. If you just tell the police you can get out of it. He'll go to jail, you'll be free. I don't enjoy seeing all of the bruises on your body. For the last two years you've been my patient I've wondered if the next time I would see you you'd be alive or in the morgue."_

The words hurt, but I'd heard them from him so many times it didn't affect me as much anymore. Before him it had been another doctor, but I stopped going to him when he kept bringing police officers in my room to see me. My current doctor is smart enough to know that it won't work. Jonathan is charismatic and can get his way out of anything, and then I'll suffer even more. Maybe one day he'll stop. Maybe one day he'll be better.

"Hey Alec."

My eyes glance up and I smile when I see my favorite nurse, Maddilyn. The thought occurs to me that I've been here far to many times if I have a favorite nurse. She begins typing on the computer and I can see the blood pressure machine behind her. I hate this part. It's always high because I'm always stressed out.

"How are you doing this afternoon?" Her green eyes meet mine while she hooks me up to the machine.

"I'm okay. My ribs hurt a little, my bandages are itchy."

The band around my arm squeezes and I can feel my heart beating hard. When it finally loosens up she types the number into the computer before sighing.

My throat tightens and for some reason I feel like crying, "I'll try to relax I'm just..."

Maddilyn's fingers touch my wrist gently and I look up at her. Her eyes are gentle and I can see she's fighting back tears, "you can get through this. I'll tell doctor Montgomery that your pressure is a little high and we'll get your bandages changed."

I look down at my blankets and nod. Her fingers touch my shoulder for a moment before I can hear her leaving. "Oh Alec, it looks like you have a visitor."

She sounds excited so I know it's not Jonathan. They try to keep him away from me.

I look up at the door and am shocked to see Magnus. His outfit is much more somber than last time and I can see the worried look in his eyes from here. Maddilyn gives me a cheeky smile before she closes the door behind her.

Magnus walks over to me slowly and I have to keep my head from falling in shame. The doctors and nurses know my wounds aren't from a car accident like Jonathan tried to tell them but Magnus doesn't. I don't even know how he knew I was here but I'm glad he came.

His hands shake slightly as he holds his hands over my right arm. I watch his eyes gaze along the bandages on my wrists before turning to where they peak out under my gown and finally up to my head. One of his hands falls onto my arm and gives it a gentle squeeze. He glances around before moving around my bed to where a chair is on the left side of my bed.

My throat tightens again but I fight back against it. My voice is slightly quivery when I finally get the words out, "can you move the chair to the right side of my bed?"

He cocks his head to the side but he picks the chair up anyway. He sets it down close to my bed and he takes my hand in his gently as he sits down. I clear my throat, "thank you for coming."

He smiles and traces his fingers down to my bandages, "I called your job. They said that you were in a car accident, of course I came."

I nodded. It might creep other people out that he called my job but I think it's sweet.

His fingers are still shaking as they hold my hand. "So why am I not allowed on the right side?"

I swallow. Fuck, what should I say? I need to get as close to the truth as possible without actually saying anything about Jonathan. "I hit my head on the window. I've lost hearing in my left ear temporarily." I don't know if that's true but I hope it is. I don't want to be deaf in one ear.

Magnus gasps softly and I think I see tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. When was the accident? It couldn't have been that long after our... our meeting."

Our date. At least I saw it that way, maybe he doesn't. "Someone hit my car and I ran off the road."

His eyes shut and he shudders. It takes a minute before he opens them again. "Where was that pompous boyfriend of yours?"

I know I shouldn't but I chuckle a little. Maybe I'm morbid. "He was driving behind me. He got me to the hospital."

At least those aren't lies. I hate lying to Magnus for some reason. I've lied to mom and dad, Isabelle and Jace, even Max about the abuse. But lying to Magnus feels... different.

Magnus' fingers glide along my arm up to my shoulder and even though I know it's inappropriate I don't tell him to stop. His fingers finally stop when they slide against my face, my cheek pressed against his palm. My eyes close and it takes everything not to nuzzle against his skin. This is so bad, I need to stop. I'm taken.

By a monster...

I can hear him speaking but I don't understand the words. "What?"

Magnus laughs and I realize I said that far to loudly. My eyes open and I also realize his hands are laying on the bed. Mere inches from my thigh.

His eyes are shimmery and I can see the mirth in them. "I said where is he. He's not hovering over someone as perfect as you."

I know my cheeks are turning pink, "I'm not perfect."

"I beg to differ." My heart sinks when I can hear Jonathan's voice from the door. "He is perfect, and he's mine."

Jonathan moves around to the left side of the bed and kisses my cheek. He's wearing a hat and underneath I can tell he's dyed his hair black. From far away the nurses must not have known it was him.

Magnus squeezes my wrist gently before standing up. "You're making Alec upset. Maybe you should go, John is it?"

Jonathan's eyes narrow and I have to struggle to hear him, "Jonathan. I'm his boyfriend, not you. He needs me, not you. He's mine, not yours."

From the corner of my eye I can see Magnus' hands tighten. "You can't own a person. Alexander isn't your property. I'm thankful that you saved his life but I don't like your attitude."

"Mister Morgenstern!"

All of our eyes turn towards the door to see my doctor there. His eyes are narrowed and I can see him visibly shaking. "I've told you repeatedly not to come here. Now both of you leave while I see to my patient. You're upsetting him."

Magnus catches my eyes, "I'll be in the waiting room." I can see the question in his eyes but I don't know what I'll say to him.

I watch him walk out of the room. Doctor Montgomery looks at Jonathan. "Do I need to call security?"

Jonathan smiles darkly down at me, "no sir. See you at home babe."

He moves to the door and shuts it behind him. Through the glass I see him talking to Magnus before the doctor shuts the curtains. He lectures me about Jonathan and I nod slowly, not paying attention to the words.

What am I going to do?


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hey guys! I'm sorry for not posting in quite a long time. I had an illness in the family and because of it I've either been really busy or when I'm not had a bad case of writers block. But I'm back, and I'm going to try to get a new chapter out every week. I'm buying a new, better laptop this week so I should definitely be writing a lot faster than usual. We are getting closer to Magnus discovering Alec's big secret this chapter but he doesn't quite get it yet. You'll also be seeing Jace and Isabelle in this chapter, both who know what Jonathan does to Alec. Warnings include some language and a tiny bit of violence. I hope you all enjoy.**

 **I listened to One Call Away by Charlie Puth while writing this chapter.**

 **Magnus POV:**

No one could ever possibly know how horrible it was to look into Alec's room after I left. Alec is tall, he's muscular but more close to the skinny side. That's what I saw the first time I saw him. I saw a handsome younger man. But I didn't see that today.

Of course he's still handsome and I wanted nothing more than to slide my palm against his cheek, into his hair. His black, gorgeous hair.

Jonathan clears his throat behind me. "Stop looking at my boyfriend."

I have a hard time ignoring him. I just know he had something to do with this. Jonathan probably ran Alec off the road, he didn't seem to be too happy that Alec and I were getting chummy in the café. Chummy? Seriously? I felt myself giving a part of me to Alec that day. Something that I promised myself that I would never give away. Not to Camille. Not to anyone.

A hand falls on my shoulder and I turn around. Jonathan's eyes are dark brown, closer to black, and they are hard. I glance him up and down. He's wearing a nice black suit coat, with a white button up shirt underneath. The top two buttons are undone so I can see his throat and the top of his chest. He's also wearing nice slacks and fancy dress shoes. He must have just come from work, wherever that is.

When I glance back up at his face I can see that he's smirking. Does he think I'm checking him out? His eyebrow raises, "like what you see?"

My eyes point towards the waiting room and he smiles wider. Wordlessly he starts walking towards the elevators and waiting room. I know he was told to go, and I don't get why. Obviously the doctor doesn't like Jonathan, and truth be told I can't say he isn't a complete jackass, but he is Alec's boyfriend.

For now.

What? For fucks sake. I'm not trying to change Alec's position. I just want to be his friend. Just his friend. Who am I kidding? If I was healthy I would have had him in my bed the day we met. I'm already having a hard enough time being his friend.

Jonathan stops next to the elevator and moves out of sight of the nurse's station. "You wanted to talk. It's better that we talk here, I don't want Alec to see you so upset."

I can't help noticing the voice he's using. And I realize that he knows how to play the game. He just doesn't realize how good I already am at the game. He thinks he can talk all nice-nice and get me to back away from Alec. He's a master manipulator, and I can tell he has Alec cowed. It's not a healthy way to live in a relationship, Alec's obviously scared of him. Jonathan is a bully, it wouldn't surprise me if he's mentally abusive towards Alec behind closed doors.

Or… is it more?

No. Alec said he hit his head on the window, that someone ran him off the road. Jonathan was driving behind him but is he so horrible that he'd try to kill Alec? No, I can't think that way. It was an accident, a horrible accident. I'll believe Alec.

Jonathan's head cocks to the side and his smirk slides into a full smile, his teeth showing slightly. "Magnus, is it?"

My throat clears, "That's right."

"Can I make myself very clear?"

Haven't you already, you douchebag? "Go ahead."

His façade falls. I can see his face transform back into what is probably its natural state. Anger, pure and simple. "Alexander Lightwood is my boyfriend."

My eyes narrow, "I'm well aware of that fact. I'm not putting the moves on Alec, I promise." That's a lie, had I not been flirting with him at the café? And here?

Jonathan moves closer and I have a hard time keeping myself from backing away. There's something off about this man. His face comes mere inches from mine, so close I can feel his soft exhales against my face. I keep my face calm. He's slightly taller than me, our eyes are almost even. He whispers and even though he's right in front of me I have a hard time hearing him, "he's mine."

I can feel a muscle in my jaw tighten and it takes everything I have not to swing at him. "Alec isn't a possession. He's a beautiful, kind, generous young man, and he deserves much better than you!"

Well fuck. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I should have. I don't know. I know Alec stays with him even though he's this way…

Jonathan's eyes narrow and his hands come up to my shirt, bunching it up. "He belongs to me. Stay the fuck away from him or I will make sure you regret it."

Fuck this. Fuck this asshole and fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck!

My fist swings up, as if it's on its own accord, and smashes into his cheek. His body falls back against the wall and he looks up at me in shock. Probably the first time he's ever been shocked. It's probably the first time anyone's ever fought back against him. He steps closer to me and I ball my fist again. "Stay the fuck away from me. You don't own me, you don't own him. If I have my way, he'll never speak to you again when he gets out of here."

What the fuck am I saying? Alec's his own person, this is his choice. But I want to protect him. I've never felt this strongly about something before. Not even Camille.

Jonathan steps forward and I get ready to punch him again when a hand wraps around my bicep. I look down. There's a young woman standing next to me. She has long black hair, pale, with dark eyes. She looks like… Alec.

"I wouldn't. You'll just get yourself kicked out. Believe me, I want to kick his ass to." Her voice is loud and clear, but hard. Her eyes have strayed from me to Jonathan. He's leaning against the wall next to the open elevator door. It's being held open but a tall, blonde man.

Well… a tall, blonde, extremely attractive, golden eyed man. He looks older than the woman next to me but younger than myself. His eyes take me in before glancing at Jonathan, "here's your ride, asshole. Stay away from Alec."

Jonathan glances at all of us, "fine. But when he comes home, and he will come home, I'll be there. I'll be the one to help him get better. Not any of you." He steps onto the elevator and presses a button. He's smirking as the doors close.

The woman's hand leaves my arm and she steps towards the man. Her arm slides through his and I briefly wonder if they are a couple. He's the one who speaks up first, "so who the hell are you?"

My eyebrows rise. Charming, isn't he? "Magnus, I'm a friend of Alec's."

His eyebrows match mine, "we don't know about a Magnus. I'm Jace, this is Isabelle, and we're Alec's brother and sister."

This time I'm sure my eyebrows rise into my hairline. Isabelle, yes, I could tell she was related to Alec. But this blonde haired, tanned, golden eyed boy? Nope. I didn't see that one coming.

Isabelle holds out her hand, "You can call me Izzy if you want. I'd really like to get to know you but we should probably go see Alec. Our parents are on their way up with our little brother. Are you staying?"

My eyes glance down at the chairs in the waiting room. "I promised Alec that I would. I'll wait here while you go see him."

She nods and starts down the hallway as if she owned the hospital. Jace is slower, his eyes are hard, staring at me. I look back and eventually he nods and heads the way down the hallway after Isabelle. I watch after them for a minute until they turn around a corner, with Jace giving me one final, well, I can only call it a glare.

The sigh I've been holding in finally slides out from between my lips. I need caffeine in the worst possible way. I head towards the coffee and soda machines and try to decide between what kind of coffee I want when the elevator doors open again. I glance at it to make sure it isn't Jonathan again when a man, woman, and young boy step out. Both the man and woman are tall, with black hair and both with blue eyes. The young boy also has, you guessed it, black hair and blue eyes. The woman glances at me before heading down the hall, her man, I'm guessing her husband, and child follow her without looking at me.

My coffee pops out of the machine and I take a sip of it carefully. Well I where Alec got his striking looks from. Minus Isabelle's dark eyes, they all look alike. Minus Jace, that's a mystery right there. Maybe adopted?

I settle down on a chair just as my phone buzzes. I pull it out to see Camille's face pop up on the screen. It keeps buzzing and regretfully I slide the disconnect button across. I'll talk to her later.

Fuck. I don't know what to do.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hey guys! Here is the next chapter. This chapter will include some language and Magnus will be getting, again, closer to the truth. Plus, you'll get to see Jace and Izzy and the rest of the Lightwood family's interactions with Alec. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and reviews make my day.**

 **I listened to Unsteady by X Ambassadors while writing this chapter.**

 **Alec POV:**

The doctor drones on and on while I stare at the door. Jonathan walked away with Magnus and the only thing keeping me in this bed are these stupid bandages and idiotic fucking doctors and-

Fuck. I wouldn't make it ten feet. I probably can't even stand on my own two feet by myself right now. They haven't tried to get me to stand yet. I'm just worried about what's going on. If Jonathan hits Magnus or something… I could never forgive myself. Worse, Jonathan might give himself away to Magnus.

Part of myself wants that to happen. Maybe Magnus can do something. But the bigger part, the smarter side of me, knows that's impossible. I've heard it from the various doctors over the last couple of years. The only way I can get out of this is if I get out of it myself. I have to leave Jonathan and he'll go away and I'll live happily ever after for the rest of my days.

I'm not that stupid. I'll never be free of him, ever.

"Alexander?"

I look up at the doctor and he's staring at me strangely. He pulls out the blood pressure band and starts to wrap it around my arm. "How are you feeling? You seem to be a little bit woozy right now."

It's easy to force the smile I've grown accustomed of onto my face. "I'm okay, just thinking."

The machine beeps and he glances up at the numbers. I don't look, I don't care at this point. But I do watch him smile as he unwraps the band from my arm. "You're getting back into the normal range for you. I think you're going to recover very nicely, Alec. I just hope that next time you will be this lucky."

I ignore him, again. I already know that there will be a next time, and a time after that, and a time after that. It's never going to end, not until he kills me. My eyes shut at the thought, but I know that it's what's going to happen. I'm never going to leave, I can't. He threatened to hurt my family if I ever leave and I know that he would do it. So I'd rather him kill me instead of hurting them. That's it. I'm going to die if I stay with him, but I can't leave.

"Well, I haven't seen you two in a while."

My eyes pop back open and I look up. Jace and Isabelle are standing in the doorway. Izzy marches inside and sits down in the chair that Magnus just vacated. Jace moves to my left side and when he opens his mouth I can barely hear him.

I clear my throat and Isabelle grasps my hand tightly. "Jace, can you… can you move to the right side of my bed with Iz?"

He gives me the same strange look that Magnus gave me and moves to stand next to Isabelle. "Is there a reason I have to overcrowd our beloved sister?"

Doctor Montgomery starts to move out of the room, "Alec, I'll have a nurse bring in another chair for your brother. Are your parents and little Max coming in today?"

Isabelle nods but keeps her eyes on me. I don't think I've ever seen her so speechless before. The doctor leaves and Jace sits down at the foot of my bed. They both stare at me, without speaking, and I start to feel uncomfortable.

"Guys, can you say something please?"

Jace glances at the left side of my bed before giving me another look. I sigh, I was hoping I wouldn't have to go there. "I hit my head in the accident. My hearing in my left ear is gone for now, it's just temporary." Oh god, I hope it is. I don't want to be half deaf.

Isabelle pushes Jace off of the bed and she replaces him with herself. She runs one of her hands along my right leg. She looks me in the eyes finally. "mom, dad, and Max are coming. If you want to lie to them, go ahead. But don't lie to me. Did Jonathan hit you again? Did he do worse to you?"

Jace takes her seat and one of his hands comes up to rest on my bed, centimeters from mine. There used to be a time I would love it if he held my hand. Now, I don't have a uh… crush on him anymore. But still.

Isabelle snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Hey! Mom and dad are coming, so tell us the truth now before you go and lie to them."

I sigh again, my anger building. "Yes, he hit me. It wasn't an accident. There were abso-fucking-lutely no cars involved. This is my life and I'm going to do what I want so can you please fucking drop it?!"

Izzy and Jace stare at me like my head just did an exorcist twist. They don't say anything while I stare back and forth at them. I feel the need to apologize. "I'm sorry guys, just, please. Please don't worry about me. I can handle all of this, I'm the big brother remember?"

For as long as I can remember I've always tried to fix their problems. I don't need help. I don't. I don't. I don't.

"Alexander." We all look up and see mom, dad, and Max in the doorway. They crowd around my bed. The nurse comes in behind them and sets down a chair next to Jace and mom automatically sits down in it, assessing me with her eyes. "Come here darling."

Max sits down on her lap and holds out a book he'd brought. "I thought you might like to read something while you're here."

I take it and look at the cover. It's another Death Note book. Him and his anime and manga. It's not really my thing but he's always trying to get me to read them with him. And Jace and Izzy don't like manga so I feel like I need to read them. It's probably the one and only thing that I can use to connect with Max, he's always been more into Jace.

"Thanks buddy. I'll read this tonight and when we see each other tomorrow we can talk about it."

Mom clears her throat. "Well, Max might not be coming tomorrow, he has school. And your father and I need to work, but I'm sure Isabelle and Jace will be coming."

None of us have anything to say about that. Mom's word is law in our house. Well, when it used to be all of our house. I can tell she seems irritated with me but I can't figure out why. She has no idea about Jonathan, unless Jace and Isabelle told her. And I'd kill them if they did, it's not their fight.

As if on que, she glances around the room. "I saw Jonathan leaving. You two didn't fight, did you? I was always unsure about your… relationship but he does seem to care about you a lot."

Dad glances away from me nervously and I understand him completely. He's never really been okay with me being gay. He says he accepts it but I'm not positive he really does. Mom's okay with it but she's not a huge fan of Jonathan in the first place. "We didn't fight. He's been here from the beginning. He's just gone home to get a change of clothes."

I notice Jace and Isabelle giving each other a look and I want to strangle them. They can say whatever they want to me when mom and dad and Max are gone. But until then, they need to respect my choices, it's my life.

Mom asks me question after question and I answer them distractedly. Why do I keep pushing my family away? For what? A man who doesn't really love me? But he has to love me, he's stayed with me this entire time. Obviously there's something there. For him, even for me.

"Alexander?"

I look up, mom's staring at me. I must have stopped pretending to listen. "Yes?"

She's risen and Max along with her, dad at her side. Jace is still on the chair and Iz on the bed. Mom's head has tilted to the side and her usual cold eyes are unusually soft and warm, "do you want me to get the doctor? You're not looking so good."

Now that I think of it, my head does hurt. My ribs hurt. My everything hurts. Why do I keep letting him make me hurt? "I'm okay, but I think um… I think I need to sleep. I'm in a little bit of pain."

Isabelle's eyes widen in fear and I put my hand on her knee, as far as I can reach, and squeeze it gently. "I'm alright, I'll be better after I rest, I promise." I give her a look that she recognizes, doesn't like, but accepts.

She gets up and puts her hand on Max's shoulder. "Come on guys, let's go. Jace and I will be back tomorrow Alec. We'll talk then."

Oh boy. Jace gets up and starts to usher Max out of the room, "Yeah, see you tomorrow brother."

Dad raises his eyebrows at Jace and Isabelle before looking back at me, "I'll try to come back after work tomorrow, Alexander." His hand raises as if he's going to touch me but he thinks better of it and walks out the door.

Mom is the last one to stay. She's giving me a weird look and she stays quiet for a few minutes. "Alexander, are you okay?"

I hate lying to her, I really do. I'm not even really good at it. "Yeah, it was just an accident. I'm recovering."

She leans down and gives me a brief hug. I can smell a hint of perfume on her. "Why haven't you involved the police? No one's looking for this other driver."

Again with the lies… "I know who the other driver is. He's going to pay for my car and medical bills." Well, I guess it's only half a lie. I'm on Jonathan's insurance and he's pretty much paying for everything.

Her eyes narrow and I'm waiting for a spiel. "That's not very responsible of this man. Or of you, you should press charges."

Maybe she's right, but it isn't going to happen. "It's all worked out. I'm not pressing charges and I'm not going to do anything but get better. Okay?"

Mom finally nods and kisses my cheek lightly, as if I'm made of glass and I'll break at the lightest touch. "I'll try to come back tomorrow. I love you. Get better."

I watch her make her way out of my room and I lean back against my pillows. What the fuck am I going to do? Every piece of me wants to tell her and dad what's really going on. But I know mom would kill Jonathan for even thinking about hurting me. I'm actually surprised that Jace and Isabelle haven't told them anything, but I did order them to keep out of it. Still…

My eyes close and I try to fall asleep. This is so hard, so hard. I can't explain how much I wish I could stop being in a hospital every few months. But I'd have to leave Jonathan and… I can't do it. I love him. Don't I? I have to love him. If I don't love him, I don't know what I am anymore. And besides, who could ever love me as much as he does?

I can hear someone step into the door way then walk towards the chair. They stand by my bed for a few seconds before taking a seat in what I assume was Jace's seat. I keep my eyes closed, I don't know if mom or dad or one of my siblings came back or if it's a nurse. I don't know if it's Magnus or Jonathan sneaking back in. Part of me wants to open my eyes but I'm afraid I'll see Jonathan's dark eyes smiling down at me. I don't know if I could take it right now.

But I can feel eyes burning into my body and I can't help it, I have to look. I open my eyes slowly, deliberately, like I'm just waking up. I even add in a small yawn for good affect if it's Jonathan. When my eyes blurriness clears I'm surprised to see Magnus. He came back? Wait, he was in the waiting room. I remember now.

Our eyes just stare at each other, and it looks like there's a red ring around his, as if he were crying. What would he have to cry about? Is it me? Did I do something wrong? No, Jonathan must have said something to him. Damnit.

I want desperately to say something to him, anything, but nothing comes out. I don't know how much Jonathan gave away, if he gave anything away.

Magnus lifts his hand and I watch it hover over my right one. Finally, it falls and lands on mine. I look down at them and watch his long, thin fingers caressing my hand. His hand is tanned where mine is pale white. His hand has… glitter on it? Mine's just plain. There are two rings on his fingers, the metal presses hard against my skin.

His fingers slide up and down my hand until finally he laces our fingers together. Part of me wants to yank my hand away. I have a boyfriend. I'm not single, I can't just hold hands with other men. But the other part of me, admittedly the bigger part of me, wants this.

Magnus lets out a breath and I look back up at him, "Magnus, what happened?"

He shakes his head, "it's fine. I have a question for you and I want you to be completely honest with me."

I find myself nodding without knowing what the question is. If I can tell the truth I will, I don't care what it is.

He stares at our linked fingers and then back up at me, "and if I'm way off based, you can tell me. Just tell me to shut the fuck up and I will never, ever ask you this ever again. Just tell me the truth."

Oh god. Jonathan gave it away. Fuck! "Just ask me your question."

Magnus takes another breath and lets it out. "Alec. Your car accident, was it really an accident?"

My eyes widen, "do you mean, did someone hurt me and I'm lying about it?"

He swallows and I can feel his fingers start to shake against mine. "I just had this feeling when I was talking to Jonathan earlier. Did he… did he…"

I was asked to tell the truth. How can I possibly tell him that I let my boyfriend beat me and get away with it? How can I possibly say that all of the nurses and doctors on this floor know the truth?

My throat is tight and I have to force out my words, "y-you mean, did he beat me?"

Magnus looks into my eyes, "yes. Are you in the hospital right now, because he hurt you?"

I can't speak but my head shakes no. It's my automatic response. I can't escape Jonathan, and I never will. I never will.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hey guys! Here is the next chapter of Just You and Me. I'm sorry it took so long to get it out, I've been having some problems with my new laptop, and the documents won't upload to FF. This chapter will have some strong language and sexual thoughts and actions. I hope you all enjoy and reviews make my day.**

 **I listened to Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes while writing this chapter.**

 **Magnus POV:**

I run my fingers through my hair. Alec's nurse, Willow, is checking his pulse and other vitals while he stares out the window. She walked in while we were talking about his accident. I can't help but think there's more to it than he's saying. Her fingers run along the bruises on his arms and I can see Alec grimace in pain. I want to comfort him but he's been quiet ever since I asked him about the accident.

Willow types the answers into her computer. "Alec, I need to change the bandages around your head. Do you want your friend to leave?"

Alec turns his head but he doesn't quite look at me. "He can stay if he wants to, it's fine."

Willow looks at me and I nod. I'm probably going to regret this but...

She places new bandages on the bed and then starts to unwrap the current bandages from around Alec's head. His eyes are facing the window and I can't see his expression. My eyes glance back up at his face and watch the bandages come off of his head. When they're finally off she steps away and I can see his head completely.

As soon as I do my stomach rolls and I want to vomit. His black hair is the same, unruly and in his face. But along his right temple spreading halfway down to his cheek his skin is black and yellow, not the perfect pale white it usually is. The bruise spreads halfway across his forehead as well. I can't see the left side of his head but I'm not sure I want to.

Willow starts rubbing some kind of salve on Alec's face and I look down. Alec's right hand grips the blanket tightly. I want to reach forward and hold it but I don't know how the nurse would feel about that, I'm sure she knows that Jonathan is his boyfriend.

When she is done wrapping the new bandages around Alec's head she turns around. Her eyes meet mine and I can see the tears she's trying to hide. My jaw clenches and I watch her step towards the door, "Alec, make sure you order your dinner within an hour please. You didn't eat very much of your lunch."

He nods while still looking out of the window and Willow steps out of the room.

Alec doesn't look at me and he keeps staring through the glass of the window stubbornly. I figure he probably won't talk about Jonathan if I try to force the issue so instead I pick up the cafeteria menu from his table. I clear my throat, "What uh... what would you like to eat? If you don't want any of this I can go get you something."

Alec lets go of his blanket but he doesn't look at me. "No thank you."

I reach for his hand but he pulls it away from me. Instead of just grabbing his hand anyways like I want to I pull away from him. "I'm sorry."

He turns his head and looks at me briefly before looking down at his blanket. "No, I'm sorry. I'm not being very polite. Can I have it?" He holds out his hand for the menu and I hand it to him. He glances down at it. "I'll order something in a little bit, I promise."

My throat tightens and I reach for his hand again, this time he lets me take it. I lace our fingers together again and squeeze his hand gently. He doesn't look back up at me but he does squeeze my hand back. I clear my throat again, "Alec, can we discuss what we were talking about earlier?"

Alec sighs, "I answered your question. Jonathan didn't hit me, he doesn't abuse me."

My lips quiver lightly and I try to firm them. "I know that's what you said. But maybe uh... maybe he ran you off the road. Or maybe you said it was a wreck because you don't want anyone to know the truth."

He grips his blanket again and finally looks up at me, "he didn't run me off of the road. It was just... it was an accident. It was."

Our eyes finally meet and I can tell that he's sad. Maybe he's telling me the truth, maybe. "Alexander..."

His eyes shut briefly before looking at me again, "I'm fine. I promise. I-I I think I'm going to try to get some sleep after I eat. If you want to come back tomorrow you can."

I grip his hand tightly before standing. "Alec, you know if you want to talk to me about anything, I'll listen. Whatever it is."

Alec nods. "I know but I'm okay. This isn't what you think it is." His hand shakes in mine and I hold onto it tighter before letting him go. I can tell his entire body is tremoring lightly. As much as I would love to stay here and try to make him talk to me I know he isn't ready yet. But I'll be here when he is.

He looks up at me and I stare down at him. Our eyes meet and I run my hand along the left side of his face, gently caressing him. I wrap my left arm around his back and pull him against my chest, his face pressed into my neck. His arms come around my back slowly but when they do his fingers grip the back of my jacket. I hold him against myself for a few minutes before I press my lips against his forehead gently, trying not to hurt him.

When I pull away from him I can see tears in his eyes. He opens his mouth and his lips quiver lightly as he speaks, "I'm really okay. This isn't what you think it is."

I suppress a sigh and try to smile at him. "Just... remember. I'm always going to be here for you."

Alec nods and glances out the window. "I know."

I know he wants me to leave. I press my hand against his shoulder gently before stepping out into the hallway. Willow is sitting at the nurses station and she glances at me. Her eyes still look sad, she has to know Jonathan did this. I don't know if he ran Alec off of the road or if he just straight up beat Alec but I know Alec is lying about what happened.

She smiles and gives me a small wave before looking back at her computer. I head down to the elevator and when it reaches the garage I head towards my car. I wish I knew where Alec lived, I could go have a little talk with Jonathan. But I don't know how Alec would feel about that, he seems completely dependent on that douche-bag. Fuck!

I drive home slowly, thinking about Alec the whole time. I wish he'd just tell me the truth, I know there's something more going on. But I swear the next time I see Jonathan I'm going to kick his ass. I should have done it today, there was something so off about him.

When I pull into the driveway I sigh. Camille's car is here. I'm definitely not looking forward to talking to her about earlier. I get out of my car and walk slowly to the doorway. She's probably angry at me for ditching her for Alec.

I open the door and am surprised to see that the house is dark minus candles burning on the dining room table. When I step into the room I can see Camille's door is shut and there is soft candlelight coming out from under the door. A part of me is disappointed, I thought she wanted me. But the other part is happy that she's moving on. I blow the candles on the table out before going towards my bedroom door and stop when I see light coming from under my door as well. She didn't invite someone here for me... did she?

My fingers grip the handle tightly before turning. I look cautiously into my bedroom and don't see anyone. There are candles on my desk and bedside table, she must have just wanted the room to smell better or something. I lay down on my bed and cover my face with my arm. This is completely weird.

My door opens and I sigh deeply. I knew she was up to something. When I take my arm off of my face and look towards the door I nearly swallow my tongue. Camille is standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but black, lacy lingerie. I can't help but to stare at her. Her legs are long and I can still remember sliding my own hands along them. Her breasts are perfect and her long blonde hair surrounds her shoulders in beautiful curls. I can't help it, my cock hardens and it takes a lot to stop from touching her now. Whoever she's sleeping with tonight is incredibly lucky.

Camille slides a hand along her waist and down to her thigh, stopping slightly below her underwear. My throat tightens and I can't help but stare there, knowing what's beneath that little bit of lace. Her eyes glance down at my pants and she smiles, "need some help?"

Her voice is seductive and my hand drifts down to my pants and give myself a small tug, mentally trying to will it to go down. "Camille just go back to whoever's in your room."

Her eyes glisten and she smirks, "there's no one in my room. I did all of this for you."

She steps towards me and I push myself back from her. "No, you can't. I could get you sick."

Camille kneels on my bed and I push myself all the way back against my headboard. "I did all of the research, Magnus. There is very little chance of you giving it to me if we do oral, and if you're still worried you can wear a condom. Or I can touch you with my hand. We can have sex with condoms, it's unlikely to transmit. We'll be careful, I don't mind."

My heart races as she kneels in between my legs. "I do mind. You can still transmit HIV even wearing a condom, it just isn't as likely. I'd never forgive myself if I got you sick."

Her hands touch my button and I watch her undo it. "I know you want me. We work out so well together."

No. No we don't. Maybe physically but not in a real relationship. When I think of a real relationship I think of... Alec. My eyes close. I'm not in a relationship with Alec, but I truly want to be. And I know it's wrong, he's taken, even if by a complete bastard. He doesn't really want me.

My zipper pulls down and I look down at Camille. There's a condom in her hand and she's using her other one to stroke my cock through my pants. My eyes shut and I let out a sigh. This is so wrong.

She stops touching me and I look at her. Her eyes are soft and I remember why I always loved her. "It's okay. I really did look up everything we need to know. We'll take this slow, and we'll be extremely careful. We should try a relationship again, we were so good together."

Her hand slides into my pants again and she grips my cock in her hand, sliding it up to the head. A soft groan escapes my lips. Maybe if we do this the right way it could be okay. Maybe.

She takes my groan as a yes and she slides the condom onto my cock. When she takes it into her mouth my hips buck and it nearly knocks her off of my bed. It's been way too long. Her lips wrap around me and I push up into her hot, velvety mouth.

But when I look down on her it feels wrong. I watch her head bob up and down on my cock and I can feel myself getting closer to the edge but it doesn't feel anything like it used to, it feels just... wrong. My eyes close and I imagine it's Alec laying in between my legs instead of her. Black hair replaces blonde and blue eyes replace her green ones. When I thrust up it's inside of his mouth and not hers. My mouth opens and I let out a moan imaging his soft pink lips wrapped tight around my cock, his fingers pressed against my balls. My hands slide into Camille's hair and pull, making her moan. When the moan reverberates around my cock I imagine Alec doing the same to me and my cock explodes, shooting down her throat.

My breath comes out in sharp gasps and I open my eyes, feeling like a complete dirtbag. I can't believe I used Camille and Alec to get off, I don't deserve either of them. Fuck. She starts to grab the condom and I take it from her. "Don't touch that, just.. let me." I tie it off and throw it in my trash.

Camille sits on my bed next to me in silence and I yank up my pants as best as I can while still laying down. "I'm sorry, Cami."

Her eyes meet mine and I can tell she's angry. I wait for her to rip into me, I shouldn't have let her give me a blowjob, it was stupid as fuck. "Who's this Alec?"

I wasn't expecting this. "He's a friend, why?" I want him to be more. Camille doesn't respond for a few minutes but when she does she looks sad, not angry. "You were trying to get a hold of him earlier. And just now you said his name, not mine, when you came."

Oh fuck. I didn't even realize that I did that. I was just too wrapped up in pretending it was him with me not her. This just makes me feel even more like a dirtbag. "He's a friend of mine. We're just friends. That's all."

She looks down at my comforter. "Are you in love with him?"

"No, of course not." It comes out of my mouth automatically but I'm really not sure what the real answer is. I barely know him, and he has a boyfriend. But I've never felt anything like I have with him. I want nothing more than to protect him. Just holding his hand is intimate for he and I. But love? I don't think it's that far yet. Yet?

She doesn't look like she believes me. Her eyes get wet and she turns away from me so I don't see her cry. I watch her blow out the candle on my table before getting up and moving to my desk. "I'm going to bed."

My lips quiver and I feel tears well up behind my eyes. "Camille please. Just stay here with me tonight."

She leans down and blows out the candle on my desk and the room becomes completely black. I can see her shadow heading towards my door. "Goodnight Magnus."

"Goodnight", I whisper. When she's gone I lean back against my pillows and cover my face. What the fuck is the matter with me?

I don't deserve them, either of them.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Hey guys. I'm really sorry about not updating this in forever, I haven't had the best months lately. I'm going to try to write a couple more chapters this week to try to make it up to you guys. I'm also going to try to get my True Blood story up sometime within November so if you're interested in True Blood you should check it out.**

 **This chapter is based a couple of weeks after last chapter. Alec is coming home today, and we'll be having some interesting scenes. Warnings include a sexual assault, domestic violence, and some strong language. This chapter is rated M and may be difficult to read.**

 **Thank you for everyone being patient with me lately and I hope you read and enjoy, reviews make my day.**

 **Alec POV:**

The car ride is tense, no surprise. Jonathan's fingers are tight on the wheel and I can't quite figure out what his mood is. It's been two weeks since Jonathan and Magnus had their confrontation, and neither of them have told me what they fought about, only that they had a bit of a fight.

My eyes close for a moment. Magnus has visited me every day in the hospital, it's been fantastic. But I left today, and I don't know when I'll be able to see him again. Magnus asked for my address so he can come visit me and I gave it to him without thinking about the consequences. As soon as I told him I regretted it, but if I told him not to come over he would get even more suspicious than he already is.

And he is already suspicious enough. A huge part of me really wishes I had the courage to tell him the truth. But what am I supposed to say, 'I'm too scared to leave Jonathan so I'm going to suffer for the rest of my life'?

Yes, that'll go real well. He'll confront Jonathan at the worst and at the least he'll think I'm a coward and stop being my friend. And for some reason I've really come to rely on our friendship. Jonathan has been very tight lipped about it. I haven't even mentioned Magnus' name, yet still I know that Jonathan is angry about it. The only saving grace was that the doctors and security kept Jonathan away from me during the rest of my stay.

And I'll never forget the looks on their faces when they watched me get into his car.

I raise my hand up to my ear and rub it. My hearing still hasn't returned, the doctor said it might never return because of the brain damage. And how I'm lucky it's the worst thing that happened. Yeah, I'm very lucky. Jonathan's fingers tighten harder around the wheel and my hand drops onto my lap. I keep my eyes down, afraid to even look at him.

His throat clears, "how are you feeling?"

My eyes raise and meet his. His eyes are cold, hard. My lips quiver and I try to firm them. I wish he killed me this time. It's horrible to say but it's true. I know if he didn't kill me before he will now.

"Alec."

My body starts shaking and I can't stop the tremors. "I'm f-f-fine."

He throws another glare at me, "stop stuttering. What are you, five?"

"N-no. I'm n-n-not." Tears form in the corners of my eyes and I firm my lips. Fuck! "I'm okay, Jonathan."

Jonathan gives me one last hate filled look before pulling the car into our driveway. He shuts it off and sits next to me in silence. I reach for the door handle and he reaches across me to grab my hand. "Alexander."

"Wh-what?" My hand is trembling in his. He tightens his hand around mine so hard I'm afraid he'll break it. His nails dig into the skin and I try to pull away but he jerks me back. His eyes glance around the car, probably for witnesses, and he grips me tighter.

"Alec. You've been very bad. You have been lying to me, you've cheated on me."

"No I didn't!" But even as the words fall out of my lips I think about Magnus and him holding my hand at the hospital. And then his hand pressed against my face as he hugged me. It was loving and intimate, if that isn't cheating, I don't know what is. "It-it was just a hug. He hugged me, that's it."

Jonathan's nails dig harder into my skin and I watch as a little bit of blood slides down my arm. "You fucking slut. You don't know how to be faithful, all I want is for you to be good. All I want is for you to be faithful and give me what I want, and you can't do that. What the fuck is the matter with you lately?"

My heart races and I glance around us. There's no one around the apartment next to our home. "I don't know. Please Jonathan the doctors said I need to take it easy." Please.

"Let's go inside."

I pull my arm away from him and he surprisingly lets me go. "I don't want to."

His hand runs up into my hair, gripping it. "I'm not going to hurt you. Go inside, now." He let's go of my hair and opens his door. I watch him walk up our walkway and open our door. He disappears inside. He took his keys, my car isn't here, he must have taken it somewhere to make it look like an accident happened. I can't leave.

I climb slowly out of the car. It's tempting to run but I have nowhere to go. I could call Magnus but I don't want to drag him into this any further than he already is. I look down the road, and at the houses and apartments on our street. My mind goes back to all the threats he made, he swore if I ever left him he'd kill my parents, he'd kill Jace and Izzy and Max. After everything he's done to me, I believe him. If I walk into that house right now, I'm going to die.

My eyes blur with tears and I pull my phone out of my pocket. It only takes a moment to skim through the names. Dad, Izzy, Jace, Max, Mom. I could go back home, I could call dad or mom. My eyes land on Magnus' name. My thumb hovers over his name and it's tempting to call him, but I can't. I can't involve him more than he already has been. I can't explain all this to dad, he's never forgiven me for being gay. Mom has never forgiven me for choosing Jonathan, a man she thinks is a loser. And I can't let Jonathan ever feel like he needs to do anything to them.

If I have to suffer, that's fine. But not them, never them. I look back down at my phone and tap on Magnus' name before I chicken out. I press the phone against my ear and listen to it ring four times before going to voice mail. My eyes shut as I listen to his voice mail message. When it beeps I take a breath. "Hey, it's me. Um… Alec. I just wanted to say thank you for being such a good friend, I'll never forget it. Goodbye." My voice breaks into a sob before I can shut my phone off and I pray he didn't hear it.

Jonathan is so angry, I don't think he'll try to kill me but he's going to hurt me today. If I die, I couldn't die without thanking the one person who's made me feel safe. I look up at my house and I can see him standing in the doorway. I slide my phone back into my pocket and make my way up to the house, he stands aside as I walk through the door.

The door shuts and he and I stare at each other. I wait for what will set him off. He steps forward, slowly, until my back is pressed against the wall and our chests are touching. My mouth opens but no words come out. I should have just called mom or dad. He'd never hit me outside, he doesn't want people to know what he's really like. I should have called Jace. I should have told Magnus' voice mail that I needed help and waited outside. But I didn't want to hurt him more than I already have. I never should have gone out with him, I never should have let him visit me in the hospital.

Jonathan lifts his hand and it takes everything not to flinch. His hand slides into my hair and he grips it tightly, trying to push me down towards the ground. Knowing what he wants I grab his arm and keep him from pushing me down. "No, please. I'll do whatever you want just not that. I'm not ready for that." I can't believe I'm thinking this, but I'd rather him hit me.

His eyes are cold and unfeeling, like they always are. "You cheated on me, so you need to pay for it. If I hit you I could probably kill you. I don't want to hurt you baby, so get on your knees."

My eyes blur again but this time I can't stop the tears from falling. His hand on my shoulder pushes me down until I'm on my knees in front of him. His eyebrow raises and he points at his pants. My hands start shaking as they slide down his zipper and unbutton them. He places a hand against the wall behind me and pushes his pants and boxers down with the other. Our eyes meet and his eyebrow raises higher. "Do you want me to hit you? If I hit you I'm going to shove it down your throat after I hit you. This way we both get what we want."

He pushes himself forward until there's only a couple of inches between me and his cock. I must have hesitated too long because he smacks my left ear with his hand and excruciating pain shoots through my head. I moan and as I do he pushes himself into my mouth. It hits the back of my throat and I gag, trying not to throw up.

Jonathan ignores my gagging and thrusts in and out of my mouth, moaning. My hands come up to grip his hips, trying to push him away enough so I can get a breath but he knocks my hands away. He holds himself up against the wall with one hand and shoves his other into my hair, gripping it and pushing me farther onto his cock.

He thrusts harder into my mouth and I close my eyes, trying to just get through it. His grip on my hair tightens and I groan in pain just as his cock hits the back of my throat again. I gag again and he pulls out of my mouth suddenly. He lets me catch my breath but I know what is about to come.

"On your hands and knees."

This time I can't help it, a sob pushes through my lips and the tears fall faster. Jonathan just laughs and knocks me onto the ground. I can't help but cry as he yanks the sweatpants he brought to the hospital for me down and he positions himself behind me. "Jonathan please. Please don't do this, not again. I'll be good, I promise I'll be good!"

I sob harder as he pulls my hair back and I can feel his breath against my right ear. "Yes you will be." His fingers push inside of me and he thrusts them in and out a few times before pulling them out. His cock replaces them at the entrance. "After today, you're never going to disobey me again."

Excruciating pain shoots up my backside as he pushes inside of me, my breath hitches and I can't hold myself up anymore. He laughs as I fall face down on the ground, his hand pressing against my neck to keep me still. His thrusts start to get more erratic, I can feel liquid sliding down my legs. The pressure on my neck increases as I listen to him pant above me and all I can do is cry as he thrusts harder and faster inside of me.

All of a sudden his hands are on my hips, pulling me back up into the air, my head still laying on the ground. I can hear more than feel his skin smacking against mine and I close my eyes, praying for it to end.

As if someone heard my prayers, Jonathan shudders behind me and I can feel his cum splash inside of me. When he pulls out of me I slide the rest of the way to the floor, crying, the tears falling unstoppable down my cheeks and onto the floor. He laughs as he starts to stand and I try to pull my pants back up over my hips, when I pull my hand away I can see blood on it.

Footsteps come into my line of vision and I look up. Jonathan is staring down at me. "Did I give you permission to get dressed?"

"I-I, no. I thought you were done."

His smile is cruel. "I'll let you know when I'm done with you." He kicks me in the stomach and I curl up, trying to keep him from hitting anything too valuable.

"You promised." I cough, out of breath. "You promised you wouldn't hit me."

He laughs and steps around me to my back, I can't do anything as his foot strikes my back. "I haven't hit you. I just kicked you, that's all." He kicks me in the back again and I try to pull myself out towards the door.

The third kick he lands makes me stop moving. I lay my head down on the ground, struggling for breath. He's gonna kill me, he's really going to kill me.

My vision starts to fade as the blows keep landing. I vaguely hear a door open and the blows stop. My eyes shut, he must be going to get something to hit me with. I hear something getting hit before falling next to me, I try to force my eyes open but they refuse to.

Hands grip my shoulders and flip me over, I tense, waiting for more kicks or punches to come but they don't. Jonathan wraps his arm around my shoulders and lifts me up into my arms, his skin is warm and gentle. To gentle. I manage to crack open my eyes and I see black hair instead of blonde. Tan skin instead of pale. Green eyes instead of black. Magnus…

He brings up a hand and caresses my face with it. His mouth opens and he says something I can't hear. I struggle for breath and my eyes shut again. I can feel an arm slide under my legs and I can feel him picking me up off of the ground.

For the first time in years, I feel safe. And then I see only black.


End file.
